Why I Had to Talk to My Kids About Sex Offenders

Original Article

03/21/2013

By Amanda Morin

I have always been fairly frank with my kids. I started the difficult conversations about things like sex, sexuality, drugs, and peer pressure when they were very young. As they grew older, the conversations evolved and I felt confident that they were comfortable talking to me. So, I patted myself on the back, thinking I'd done my job well.

Last year, though, I was blindsided when someone in my family was sentenced on charges of possession of sexually explicit material. This was a difficult conversation I never thought to have with my kids — a conversation about child pornography and sexual predators.

Keep reading.

"Stranger Danger" Isn't Always From a Stranger

Sure, I taught my kids about "stranger danger" and I'd read stories about kids being charged with possession of sexually explicit materials as a result of sexting, but this was different. This was personal.

I had to explain to my two older kids why they wouldn't be having any more contact with their relative, and (thankfully) confirmed they hadn't been victimized in any way.

This was a conversation about someone they knew, loved, and trusted, which, as Circle of Moms member Barb S. points out, is the scary thing about this type of situation. Though her circumstance was a little different, she's right when she says, "He's not the creepy stranger danger that everyone fears will hurt their child."

Talking About the Circle of Trust

When you consider that the National Child Traumatic Stress Network reports (PDF) that in three quarters of reported cases of sexual abuse involving a child, the perpetrator is a family member or someone in that child's "circle of trust," I can't imagine why I hadn't had this conversation with my kids sooner.

So, I sat down with my teenager and told her what was going on. I asked her flat out whether or not she'd been exposed to any inappropriate imagery or touched in an inappropriate way. I talked to my younger child about what child pornography is and how it exploits children. We talked about things we should have talked about a long time ago.

Why Didn't I Have the Tough Conversation Sooner?

Why hadn't I had this conversation before? To be honest, I was one of the people a member named Roberta refers to when she says, "You'd be surprised at how many people live with their head in the sand, always thinking it will never happen in 'their' family."

I didn't think my kids would ever come in contact with a sexual offender, despite knowing the odds. I was a better mother than that. I was naive. I was arrogant. I was wrong.

It was a very difficult conversation, but it was also a real eye-opener to me that these things can happen to anyone and kids need to know about this stuff so they feel comfortable talking to their parents.

Continuing the Conversation

It's been over a year now, and we've continued to have an ongoing dialogue about the issue. I've learned that my daughter has friends who were not so lucky to have their parents talk to them about sex offenders in their "circle of trust."

Not everybody in my family agrees with my decision to talk to my kids openly about this, but I'm glad I did. As Barb says, "This should never be kept a dirty little secret."

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WV - New West Virginia law pairs youth sexting ban with education efforts, diversion

Original Article

We see nothing wrong with trying to educate kids and keep them off the registry, that is a move in the right direction, for once.

05/12/2013

By Lois M. Collins

West Virginia has new rules that outlaw sexting by youths. But the state is also trying to pair the rules to education and diversion so that young people learn why it's a bad idea to sext and can fix their mistakes without having to register forever as sex offenders.

The Associated Press reported that the law, signed Monday by Gov. Earl Ray Tomblin, makes it illegal for youths to make, possess or distribute photos, videos or other media that show a minor in an inappropriate sexual manner.
- Not all sexting is about sending / taking underage photos of kids, so this law is geared toward a specific issue, not sexting in general, at least that is how we read this.

The charge would be delinquency, but the law directs the state's Supreme Court to create an educational diversion program that, once completed, could lead to having the delinquency charge dropped.

"That program would show offenders the consequences of sexting, including the potential long-term harm on relationships and school and job opportunities," the AP story said.

Unlike some states, youths caught sexting would not be required to register as sex offenders.

That's important to Maureen Kanka, whose 7-year-old daughter Megan was abducted, assaulted and murdered by a neighbor who had previously been convicted of assaulting young girls. Her efforts helped lead to the crafting and passage of New Jersey's Megan's Law in 1994. It forces sex offenders to register when they move into a community. It was never meant to target juveniles who sext, she said, but it does and that's one of the changes she's pushing for in amendments, including providing more support for parole officers.

“We wanted to make sure that wouldn’t happen under any circumstances,” Kanka told the New Jersey Independent Press, referring to making teens register for sexting.

A state senator sponsoring amendments agreed. “No one is trying to defend sexting, but the intention here is to not have them live with the lifelong designation of ‘sex offender,’” said Sen. Linda Greenstein (D-Plainsboro). “With younger people, you still have the concept of rehabilitation. You don’t want them to make a mistake and live with it for the rest of their lives.”
- We are so sick and tired of hearing this!  Adults can also be rehabilitated, if you give them a chance.  Not all want to be, but most can.  So stop pretending that all adults are beyond repair.

Sexting charges vary from state to state. The Washington Post carried a story about one case this week from nearby Virginia, where three local teens took videos "of drunken sex acts with fellow teens" and shared them with each other. They each will be tried on charges of child pornography.

"In Virginia, Maryland and many other states, the law has not caught up with the combustible mix of teens, technology and sex that has made sexting an issue. Prosecutors must rely on a patchwork of laws created before the rise of smart­phones to handle such cases," wrote the Post's Justin Jouvenal.

"Some parents and rights groups are calling for a new law that would distinguish sexting from child pornography, create lesser punishments and focus on educating teenagers, not punishing them. But they also acknowledge that young victims can be devastated when embarrassing photos or videos are spread among their peers," the article said.

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Child Sexual Assault Public Awareness Spot by Kelsey Jones

The best way to prevent sexual abuse is to talk to your kids, teach them about good touch / bad touch and what to do if they are ever touched in a sexual way, and educating them in schools, not mass hysteria and disinformation in order to get voted into office or get money for your organization.

Learn the facts about sex offender re-offense rates and other myths & facts.

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Film Explores Childhood, Parenting in Sex - Porn Before Puberty?

Video Description:
Forget birds and bees -- today's kids learn about sex from porn, pop lyrics and Facebook.

"Is this slutty?" Danielle, having just put on a skirt, asked her friend Winnifred. Lady Gaga's "Monster" played in the background. "Just dance but he took me home instead, Oh oh there was a monster in my bed," the girls sang along.

"That's a good length," Winnifred answered. "It's short, but in a cool way, not, like, a slutty way."

Winnifred and Danielle are modern-day 12-year-olds. But they're not playing dress-up -- they're getting ready for a Lady Gaga concert.

Winnifred carefully curates her online profile, pushing her budding sexuality to jack up her Facebook "likes."

The documentary "Sexy Baby," which was featured at the Tribeca Film Festival, follows Winnifred's adolescence from age 12 to age 15, and delves into the world of porn before puberty. Winnifred's journey in the documentary reflects that of many pre-teens today, and through her eyes parents worldwide get a glimpse into the hyper-sexualized culture their children are facing today.

"I know I look like I'm down to f---," Winnifred says in the film.

The film explores how much social media adds fuel to the hormonal fire. Winnifred posted a revealing picture of herself with her bra showing. Why?

"It's awkward, and we're getting messages from everywhere that are saying, 'If you dress this way, you are going to be either treated well or you're gonna feel powerful,'" Winnifred told

Sex is power, and that's how a lot of girls and boys seem to feel these days.

Winnifred's mother, Jenny Bonjean, is a feminist who says she's trying to raise an uninhibited, empowered girl.

"My message to my daughter is, sexuality is a wonderful, beautiful thing. You should embrace it. ... It's not the only type of power you're gonna have. Unfortunately, it is in the culture the first power that they feel ... where 13-year-old girls can have influences on grown men," Bonjean-Alpart said.

"You don't think they realize that?" she continued. "It feels good to have power. ... You don't want to abuse it. Don't take it for granted. You need to find a balance."

Winnifred's father, Ken Alpart, described the two reactions he and his wife have to balance.

"We don't necessarily want her to dress certain ways," he said. "At the same time, we are raising our child to be an independent thinker."

Jenny Bonjean argued that early freedom could help prevent extreme acting out later on.

"We all know those women that went to college that had really, really strict parents who didn't let them experiment with anything, and they went wild in college. ... Girls gone wild, you know, is a phenomenon, and so many of those girls come from households, in my opinion, where they were tamped down on."

The risk is that allowing a child too much freedom to express her sexuality can lead her to act on it.

"I can put a very sexualized photo of me on Facebook and make it so my parents don't know, but every guy at my school does," Winnifred said. "So that does become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because when you make yourself look a certain way, people are going to expect you to be that way."

"I can make your bed rock," Winnifred, then 12, sings in the film. The song is rapper Li'l Wayne's "Bedrock."

Did she and her friends know what the song was about?

"We did realize how obscene it was [when we sang it in the film]," Winnifred told Chang. "I think because it was so mainstream, it wasn't shocking to us. ... If you hear that song f---ing three times a day for two weeks, they're easy to understand -- even when you are 12 or 13."

Video Link

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WA - Bill would teach kids age-of-consent laws

Original Article

It's about time! Education is what is needed, not hysteria based on myths!

03/24/2013

By Stevie Mathieu

Sexually active teens who don't understand Washington's age-of-consent laws could be committing crimes they aren't even aware of, says state Rep. Ed Orcutt, R-Kalama.

He's championing a bill this session to educate young people about sexual offenses in the hopes of preventing inappropriate relationships from starting in the first place. According to the bill, public schools that already teach sexual health education would be required to also teach students about sexual criminal law in Washington and the legal consequences for committing a sex crime with a minor.

"I was sitting at home one night watching '20/20,' and there was a story on there about a 19-year-old young man who has been convicted of a sex offense and he mentioned on the show that the reason why he had a sex offense is because at age 19, having sex with a 15-year-old is a sexual offense," Orcutt said while advocating for his bill on the House floor earlier this month. "It was his girlfriend. He said: 'If I'd have known this was a sexual offense, I wouldn't have done it.'"

Because of his apparent ignorance of the law, the young man is now branded for life as a sex offender, Orcutt said.

Support in Olympia

So far, Orcutt's proposal, House Bill 1397 (PDF, Video), is passing through the Legislature with bipartisan support. It sailed through the state House on a vote of 94-4, and it received a favorable public hearing before the Senate Early Learning and K-12 Committee on Friday.

Parents and students from Hawkins Middle School in Belfair testified in support of the bill Friday.

Student Adin Welander said teens start relationships with other teens without knowing the age rules.

"They do have sex, and it affects them their whole life," Welander said. "Nobody wants to hire a sex offender or marry a sex offender. It's kind of creepy. … It's a really bad label. They could have avoided that really easily."

Parent Michael Young said there is plenty of misinformation circulating on the Internet about age-of-consent laws, and Orcutt's bill will help set the record straight.

"As parents, we want to protect our children," Young said. "Maybe they don't know that they are committing an offense. Maybe they don't know that they are becoming a victim."

The bill will help those victims, Orcutt said, because it will let them know when a relationship is inappropriate in the eyes of the law.

"They will know that it's not appropriate for somebody that much older than them to be having sex with them," he said.

If the law is successful in preventing sexual crime, Orcutt said, it also will save the state money because it takes resources to register sex offenders.

The chairwoman of the House's K-12 education committee, Rep. Sharon Tomiko Santos, D-Seattle, also has thrown her support behind the legislation, calling it long overdue, preventative and informative.

Speaking from the House floor this month, Santos highlighted her favorite line from the bill.

"What this bill specifically addresses is the need to have our students 'take responsibility for and understand the consequences of their own behavior and the objective of avoiding exploitative or manipulative relationships,'" she said.

State educators have already developed a curriculum to teach students about sexual criminal law, as was mandated by the 2006 Legislature.

"But like so many good pieces of legislation, it ended up with a curriculum being developed and then being put up on the shelf," Santos said. "The legislation before you requires that the curriculum be brought down, reviewed on a biennial basis in cooperation with a variety of community-based organizations, including the Coalition (of) Sexual Assault (Programs), the Washington State Sheriffs and Police Officers, as well as the educators in our state."

Public schools in Washington are not required to offer sexual health education. The districts that do must make sure their curriculum is age-appropriate and medically accurate, doesn't discriminate based on sexual orientation, and teaches various methods (including abstinence) for avoiding pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Washington law:

• It is a crime for anyone at least two years older to have sex with a child who is younger than 12.
• It is illegal for anyone at least three years older to have sex with someone younger than 14.
• It is a crime for anyone at least four years older to have sex with someone younger than 16.
• It is illegal for anyone at least five years older to have sexual intercourse with someone younger than 18 if the older person supervises the younger in some way, such as serving as a teacher or coach.

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Imagine a World Without Hate

We disagree with John Lennon saying "Imagine there is no Heaven!" Without Heaven there is nobody to be held accountable to, and that opens a slippery slope for anarchy, in our opinion.

Video Description:
Join ADL in our Centennial Year as we Imagine a World Without Hate™, one where the hate crimes against Martin Luther King, Anne Frank, Matthew Shepard and others (sex offenders) did not take place. Support us in the fight against bigotry and extremism by sharing this inspirational video and taking the pledge to create a world without hate at http://www.adl.org/imagine.

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FL - Police Women of Cincinnati - Partiers Won't Open Door (GET A WARRANT!)

You do NOT have to open the door for the police, period!!! They can come back with a search warrant. See the second video below.

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CA - Pocket Park Policing (Huff Post Live)

See the next link for the "ground breaking" political campaign video Mr. Buscaino mentions. It's nothing more than a political campaign that exploits fear, children and the elderly to help himself get elected and to look like he's actually doing, or will do, something, but that's just politics.

Original Article

Video Description:
Harbor Gateway in Los Angeles is putting in a 1,000-square-foot park to force sex offenders out of the neighborhood. But where will they go if this becomes a trend?

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AR - How Arkansas SB653 Will Ruin the Lives of Innocent Children

NOTE: At the end of the video it mentions SB-12 which is incorrect. It's SB-653 that is the problem.

Video Description:
This little girl's father will be eligible to be removed from the Arkansas Sex Offender Registry this June. Arkansas is proposing a bill, SB653 (PDF), that will remove eligibility for her father (and thousands of others) forever.

This is a video recording her reaction to the news that her daddy might be on the registry for life. She was not aware that she was being recorded. This was not scripted or acted in any way. This is very, very real.

This law will only ruin the lives of innocent family members, many of whom have already waited fifteen years for their loved one to have a chance to be removed from the registry.

This law will in no way, protect anyone from anything. The Dept. of Justice says the reoffense rate of registered sex offenders in the US is approximately 5%, and most that do reoffend do so within 3 years of release. After 15 years, if an offender has not reoffended, the likelihood that they ever will is virtually non-existent.

Everyone makes mistakes, but people deserve a second chance. Even sex offenders!

And this child is no less deserving of a normal life than any other child in America. Passing this law will ruin her life because it will mean she will never be able to have a normal childhood. She will never be able to have friends over or sleepovers like her friends do and will always live in fear as a target for bullying because her daddy will be seen on the public registry. She is only in the 5th grade. She has a long road ahead of her.

Please Vote NO on SB653!!! Please give this girl, her father, and her family a CHANCE at a normal life. She is an innocent child. She has never committed any crime. Continuing punishing HER for something her daddy did is JUST PLAIN WRONG!

Visit these sites:

• SOSEN.ORG
• Arkansas Time After Time

Short Version:

Video Link

Longer (Uncut) Version:

Video Link

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OH - You & The Law "Sex Offender Laws" (Part 2)

Video Description:
Host Mike Monta gives you an inside look at Montgomery County's "Sex Offender Laws" and how they impact you.

See Also:

• You & The Law "Sex Offender Laws" (Part 1)

Video Link

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OH - You & The Law "Sex Offender Laws" (Part 1)

Video Description:
Learn about Sex Offender Laws on this episode of "You & The Law" with guest host Matthew Arntz, Esq., and guests Judge Mary Kate Huffman and Jim Dare, Deputy Court Administrator.

See Also:

• You & The Law "Sex Offender Laws" (Part 2)

Video Link

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AUSTRALIA - Misperceptions about child sex offenders (09/2011)

Original Article
View the PDF document

Kelly Richards
ISSN 1836-2206
Canberra: Australian Institute of Criminology, September 2011

Abstract:
Sexual offending against children is a highly emotive issue. It is nonetheless important that public policy initiatives to prevent and/or respond to child sexual abuse are based on the available evidence about child sex offenders.

This paper (PDF) addresses five common misperceptions about the perpetrators of sexual offences against children. Specifically, the issues addressed include whether all child sex offenders are ‘paedophiles’, who sexually abuse children, whether most child sex offenders were victims of sexual abuse themselves, rates of recidivism among child sex offenders and the number of children sex offenders typically abuse before they are detected by police.

The evidence outlined in this paper highlights that there are few black and white answers to these questions. Perpetrators of sexual crimes against children are not, contrary to widespread opinion, a homogenous group. Rather, there are a number of varied offending profiles that characterise child sex offenders. Gaining an understanding of the nuances of this offender population is critical if children are to be protected from sexual abuse.

Read the entire study here

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Choose Your Own Crime Statistics

This is not related to sexual crimes, but it does show that politicians and companies who lobby for changing laws, usually pick and chose what statistics they want you to see and hear, as if we didn't know that already. But if you look at the true statistics, they don't coincide with what these people are telling you. Remember, never trust anybody at face value, find out the truth for yourself! Question everything, as the slogan goes!

See Also:

• FBI Crime Statistics

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The best predictor of future behavior is …

Original Article

12/27/2012

… past behavior.

Past as prelude. So neat, so clean. So full of certitude. Like a fortune cookie Confucianism. Or something you might hear on CSI: Special Victims Unit, or from pop psychologist "Dr. Phil" McGraw. Actually, McGraw does cite it, in one of his many self-help books.

I'm sure you have heard the mantra. It's creeping into risk assessment reports and court testimony by forensic psychologists. Sometimes, it's augmented with incendiary metaphors: The subject is "a ticking time bomb"; he is "carrying a hand grenade and it's just a matter of when he pulls the pin."

One current case of mine involves a guy with a cluster of several violent offenses a few years ago, when he was in his 20s. He was using drugs back then, and hanging around with a bad crowd. Plus, he is chronically psychotic. Not a good combination.

But if you predict future violence based on a set of risk factors like his, you will be wrong more often than not. Only about four out of ten of those individuals judged to be at moderate to high risk of future violence go on to reoffend violently, according to research. The low base rates of violent recidivism will be working against you.

Read the entire article here

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MI - Child sex abuse education law passed

Original Article

12/14/2012

LANSING - A law aimed at helping to prevent the sexual abuse of children is on its way to the governor's desk after being passed Friday by the Michigan Legislature.

Sen. John Proos, R-St. Joseph, was one of the sponsors along with Sen. Judy Emmons, R-Sheridan, and Rebekah Warren, D-Ann Arbor.

"Erin's Law" is named after Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor from Illinois whose advocacy in her home state led to passage of a similar law there in 2011. After going public about abuse by a family member, Merryn made it her mission to try to ensure that children have the age-appropriate education so they can recognize and talk about sexual abuse.

Senate Bills 1112 (PDF), 1113 (PDF) and 1114 (PDF) require school boards to adopt and implement policies addressing child sexual abuse and call for creation of a task force to make recommendations on how best to prevent the problem.

Under the law schools can adopt age-appropriate curriculum, train school staff on child sexual abuse and adopt policies concerning informing parents on the warning signs of abuse. Parents are to be made aware of the curriculum and can "opt out" if they do not want their children involved.

Similar laws have been enacted in Maine, Indiana and Missouri, and legislation has been introduced in several other states, including Minnesota, New York and Pennsylvania.

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UK - Analysing the Child Sex Offender (AUDIO)

Click to listen

Listen to the audio here

12/11/2012

Audio Description:
Psychoanalyst and author Susie Orbach (Wikipedia, Twitter) reviews the latest research with experts in the field, to establish how far we understand the psychology of the child sex offender.

Research shows that 10% of children (7% of boys, 16% of girls) have been sexually abused. While high profile cases hit the press at intervals - Savile and Rochdale recently, Cleveland and Orkney in the past - the abuse is going on consistently. The evidence shows that most sexual abuse is not committed by high profile offenders, but by family members or acquaintances within the home.

Susie Orbach discusses the issue with Anthony Beech, Professor in Criminological Psychology at Birmingham University, consultant clinical psychologist Jackie Craissati, Head of Psychology for Forensic Services with Oxleas NHS Trust, Julia Davidson, Professor in Criminology & Sociology at Kingston University, and James Cantor, Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto. Together they look at who offends and why, whether treatment works, and why society finds the issue so difficult to confront and deal with consistently.

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Tailoring Policies for Effective Sex Offender Re-entry Into Communities

Video Description:
Alisa Klein, Public Policy Consultant, Association for the Treatment of Sex Abusers, at the 2010 NIJ Conference

(Opinions or points of view expressed represent the speaker and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice. Any product or manufacturer discussed is presented for informational purposes only and do not constitute product approval or enforcement by the U.S. Department of Justice.)

Video Link

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Sex Offender Registry - What you may not know

Video Description:
I don't condone or support heinous acts against other human beings, and that goes for everybody. I don't believe all sex offenders are bad or that all are good. Many need to be held in prison, many need to be carefully monitored, many are just simply young and stupid. Some are pedophiles, not all. This video is part of a project I am doing in school. This topic is one that most people are all to ready to discuss one side of, but tremble at looking into the other side. This is an attempt at opening eyes to a rarely seen side of this story. Constructive comments or questions about the content are welcome and appreciated as this is part of my project. Thank you for watching.

Video Link

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ARE ALL MEN PEDOPHILES?

About the movie:
For the first time a documentary examines the global impact of pedophilia from a cultural and professional perspective.

We live in a society that condemns pedophiles, though biological instinct and world cultures throughout history suggest that an attraction to adolescents is unavoidable. The fashion industry on the one hand sexualizes ever-younger girls while those who act on these instincts are reviled. The apparent hypocrisy at the heart of society forces the question:

What do we mean when we talk about Pedophilia?

The film also explores the many dangers children face and exposes the systematic violation of children rights by societies and how the pedophilia hysteria has led to the mass incarceration of adults and children. In conclusion, we are faced with both the contradiction of a society which sexualizes youth and the question: Are All Men Pedophiles?

See Also:

• Songs from the past that would make society today squirm!!!

Three Videos Total:

Playlist Link | Web Site

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MO - Park Hill Educators, Police Sharing Ideas about Protecting Kids

Original Article

11/27/2012

By Sean McDowell

KANSAS CITY - Almost 2,200 American kids are reported missing every day, according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, a non-profit group that tracks and assists with the rescue of abducted children.
- And out of those, how many are abducted by sex offenders, strangers and family members?  I am willing to bet most are by family members.  From the NCMEC web site, whom we don't trust much, most are abducted by family members.

In Platte County, educators and police are searching for new ways to protect kids from “stranger danger,” after a recent string of incidents in their community.
- They should be taught how to protect themselves, but "stranger danger" is not the norm, families are the usual suspects who abduct children, so what are you teaching them about that?

On Tuesday, administrators from the Park Hill School District met with local law enforcement members. A working lunch was used to share ideas about how educators and police can work together to keep children safe.

The Park Hill School District has seen four potential child abductions within the past year, including a near-abduction from November 12th, when a man grabbed a 13-year old girl at a Riverside bus stop and tried to drag her into the woods nearby.

A good Samaritan saw the whole thing, yelled at the man, and the would-be abductor ran away.
- So did anybody chase the man down?  Apparently not.  I am willing to bet he was not a known sex offender either, but we will never know now.

“We’re hoping to come up with ideas,” said Nicole Kirby, Park Hill Schools spokesperson. “We’re looking for some proactive steps that we can use to make sure our kids are safer out there when they’re waiting at bus stops and out in the community.”
- I know this is not financially practical, or is it?  But since the sheeple are so freaked out about this, why not use their tax paying money to hire a guard to stand at each bus stop?  We have people monitoring kids for cross walks and stuff, so why not bus stops?

Dan Watts isn’t only a Kansas City Missouri Police officer – he’s also a father of two kids. His department deals firsthand with ‘stranger danger’ incidents, and he says working together will only help everyone involved.

“The children are the reason we’re here,” Watts said. “Our goal today is to make sure we do all we can do, and brainstorm and see if we can come up with something we’re missing.”

Police say parents can play the biggest role in preventing child abductions, even while kids are away from home and attending school during the day. Teaching the little ones to remove themselves from threatening situations is the best start, according to Watts.

“You can’t do enough to prevent this kind of stuff,” Watts added. “There are bad people out there who want to do bad things. We do all we can to address that.”

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