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"1 in 5" is one of those goldilock numbers (not to small, not to large), and what is up with kids these days saying "like" after almost every word?
09/26/2009
By ELISABETH MARTIN
Think you remember what it's like to be a teen? Think again. Cell phones and Facebook profiles mean a new world of challenges for the high-school set that their parents never imagined. Meanwhile, perennial struggles like the pressure to be thin or the temptation of alcohol are as pervasive as ever.
Today, the SouthtownStar launches a four-part series examining the issues Southland teens are facing. The teens featured in these stories, who have had their last names omitted and their faces obscured in photos for privacy reasons, will surprise you with their candor.
This is the story of two Kelseys.
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Both girls are 17. Both just started their senior year at Lincoln-Way North High School in Frankfort. And both have been seen naked by most of their classmates.
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Neither one of us know how many people have seen us," one of the girls said. "
It's kind of a weird thing to think about. We don't know who; we don't know how many people and we don't know where (the pictures) are now."
Their mistake?
Sending sexy photos through their computers to boys that they liked. Each girl thought the pictures would stop there, but before they knew it, their amateur artwork was popping up on cell phones all over school.
"
I was dumb," the other Kelsey said. "
I sent him one, thinking I could trust him. I would never have wanted all these random guys to see that, and now they do. And like, people's little sisters know. I just feel bad."
Without knowing it, the girls stumbled into a trend that's alarming parents and law enforcement officials nationwide. It's been dubbed "
sexting" by the media, though teens mock the term. But no matter what you call it, it's happening everywhere.
A study of 1,280 teens commissioned this year by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmogirl.com found that one in five teens has sent a nude or semi-nude photo of themselves to someone else through a phone or computer, while two in five teens have received a photo from someone else.
"
I think the universal reaction has been surprise at its prevalence," National Campaign spokesman Bill Albert said. "
When I was growing up, people had written diaries, and it wasn't going anywhere. Needless to say, things can now go from private to global in a nanosecond."
And while sending a flirtatious picture or two might seem relatively harmless, the potential consequences aren't. Sending or possessing explicit pictures of teens is illegal, and being caught with the racy shots can result in child pornography charges, even if the person caught is also a minor. Southland school officials are starting to monitor the trend, promising serious discipline for students caught with explicit photos, and Will County has already put several teens through its juvenile diversion program after they were caught sexting.
The photos can also multiply in a flash around the Internet, winding up on pornography sites or in the hands of pedophiles.
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The sad part is, you don't have to have any malicious intent," said Will County State's Attorney James Glasgow, whose office recently launched an education campaign on sexting. "
In the hands of a sexual predator, this is poison."
'This is not like me'
It was sophomore year when one of the Kelseys was chatting with her boyfriend one night. The two had fooled around before, she said, so sending him a photo when he asked for it didn't seem like a big deal.
"
He had seen it all already," she said. "
He just wanted it then, because we couldn't hang out or whatever."
After he sent her some photos, she took a picture of herself naked in front of the mirror, her face clearly visible. She didn't think much of it until junior year, when the racy shot started making the rounds at school.
"
We had been broken up for a while, and then we started dating again, and that's when it happened," she said. "
He told me he had shown one friend, and I was like, you're an idiot, but then it was fine. But then it was not just one person-- people were waking up with it on their cell phone."
The other Kelsey's saving grace? She shot her full-length nude photo from the neck down before sending it to her lab partner freshman year.
"
One day, I was really upset about something-- and he said, 'Hey, give me your number'-- and he was cute, so I was like, 'All right,' " she said. "
So he texts me, and he wanted to know the story, and somehow, it just changed to 'What's the biggest you've ever seen?' "
Kelsey's lab partner sent her photos of himself exposed, and then asked for photos of her in return.
"
I didn't want to be lame, and not send them," she said. "
I was just like, I don't want to do this, but I did it anyway."
The two promised to delete the photos after sending them, but soon enough, Kelsey found out he was showing the picture to all of his friends.
"
One of the girls in my class, she had experienced it before (from him) and never told me," she said. "
She was like, 'Yeah, I knew when he got your number that's what he was going to do.' "
Looking back, Kelsey said, sending the photo was less about proving something to her lab partner than to herself. As a result, she went further than she ever would have in person, she said.
"
He made it clear, this is totally casual, this is not leading to a relationship," she said. "
I think it was like, I'm older now, and I can do stuff like this."
The first Kelsey said the photos were a way to please her boyfriend and herself.
"
I knew he'd be like, 'Whoa, yeah,' and then I would be like, 'I'm hot,' " she said.
But although those reasons seemed convincing at the time, the girls said, none of them are worth it when your naked body is floating through the halls.
"
I just felt so guilty about it afterwards," said the Kelsey who sent photos to her lab partner. "
I was just like, this is not like me to degrade myself like this."
Long-term consequences
The humiliation that can come from sexting is the least of Rich Guerry's worries. The former IT and juvenile safety worker now heads the New Jersey-based Institute for Responsible Online and Cell-Phone Communication, traveling to schools nationwide to talk to teens about how to stay safe online.
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Digital technology has bridged our borders, and it's a wonderful thing, but for every positive, there's a negative," Guerry said.
Sexting poses a danger that other teen experimentation, like sneaking a beer or a cigarette, simply can't, Guerry said. Because the Internet is impossible to regulate, once something's out there, it's there forever.
"
You can't go to a kid afterwards and say, 'Hey, don't post pictures' in the same way you can yell at them for smoking," Guerry said. "
It's like walking down the street holding a sign near the Sears Tower that has your full name, social security number and an unflattering photo, except you can't take the sign down."
That message isn't lost on law enforcement officials in Cook and Will counties, who have both ramped up their efforts to get information out to schools, parents and kids about sexting.
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The parents need someone who can explain the computer geekness to the average citizen, and we also educate kids as to why this silly thing is serious," said Kathleen Muldoon, deputy chief of sex crimes for the Cook County State's Attorney.
And while the Kelseys say it never crossed any of their classmates' minds that sharing photos might land them in jail, Will County's Glasgow is quick to point out that it could. The state's attorney's office tries to be lenient with first-time offenders, he said, but a particularly egregious situation could mean a lifetime sex offender label for a teen.
"
That means your economic viability is zero for the rest of your life," Glasgow said. "
We're reasonable, but you could do something that wouldn't allow us to be reasonable. The best thing to do is not to do it at all."
By the numbers
- One in five teens has sent a nude or semi-nude photo of themselves to someone else.
- Two in five teens have had a nude or semi-nude photo of someone else shared with them.
- One in five teens has forwarded on a nude or semi-nude photo meant to be private.
What is sexting?
Sexting, a combination of the words "
sex" and "
texting," is the act of sending nude or semi-nude photos or explicit messages to another person through a cell phone or computer.
Resources:
Tips for teens
Thinking about forwarding a sexy photo? Here are some things to consider before you hit "
send."
- Don't assume anything you send or post will stay private.
- Don't give into anything that makes you uncomfortable.
- Consider the recipient's reaction before forwarding a photo.
- Nothing is really anonymous. Even if you send a photo to someone online who only knows your user name or e-mail address, there's still a chance they could track you down.
- Know the legal consequences. In Illinois, you can be prosecuted for child pornography for possessing a photo of a minor, even if you're just a teen yourself.
Tips for parents
You may not know Facebook from the phone book, but that doesn't mean you can't help keep your kids safe. Here's a guide for what you need to know.
Talk to your kids about Internet safety. Make sure they know that nothing on their computers or cell phones is truly private or anonymous and that colleges and businesses often check out profiles of their potential students or employees.
Know who your kids are communicating with and what they're posting. Check out their Facebook, Myspace and other public profiles from time to time. Consider limitations on electronic communication.
Set expectations for acceptable and unacceptable online behavior.
Start early. Many parents might think these are issues for high-schoolers, but some kids start sending photos as early as middle school.
"TThey who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin (United States Constitution, Bill of Rights)
